It's Time to Face these Common Mental Health Concerns and Questions
Have things changed for you as a therapist since COVID?
Do you think people are struggling more because of the pandemic?
In the past couple of months, I’ve been repeatedly asked these questions by friends, family members, and colleagues. And the answer is yes to both. But it’s more complicated than a blanket “yes people are struggling more”. I have noticed themes in the kinds of issues people have brought to the table since the start of COVID around March 2020 and I want to share why I think these themes are emerging and what we can learn from them.
Emerging Concerns in Mental Health During COVID-19
While some of these concerns are things I helped people with before the pandemic impacted our lives, I did notice a rise in the number of people seeking help with the following:
Navigating feelings of stuckness and confusion about dissatisfying jobs and unfulfilling careers;
Coping with job loss and job insecurity;
Social isolation and loneliness;
“Crises” of life meaning and purpose
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that there has been such a surge of these issues since the pandemic. The pandemic forced people to work from home without some of the potential perks and distractions that were previously in the office. Many people lost their jobs and have been facing the daunting “what’s next? question with little guidance or prospective options. People lost touch with their social networks and have had to cope with fewer options to choose from when it comes to things to do, people to see, and ways to spend their time. During the summer, when typically people got to spend their hard-earned vacation time away, people felt frustrated by the limitations of travel imposed by the pandemic.
A stripping down of pre-pandemic routines and distractions has created a different kind of crisis. We’re facing internal crises of meaning and identity that feels more personal and maybe even scarier than the pandemic itself.
“I can’t move forward and keep living the way I’ve been living”
I use the word “crisis” not as a way to scare you or sound overly dramatic. It is to illustrate the sense of urgency and desire for deeper soul-searching that I believe people are hungry to do. The above statement is something I’ve heard one version or another from many clients in the last few months. I think it about sums up the spirit of how people feel about different areas of their lives.
Here are even more questions and themes I’ve gleaned.
Career identity - “Do I really want to keep doing the job I’ve been doing? (Or was previously doing prior to COVID)?”
Personal identity - “Who am I outside of the external responsibilities and roles I hold in my life?”
Values - “What kind of person do I actually want to be instead of being who I think I ‘should’ be?”
Purpose or Meaning - “Does what I do really matter? What do I really care about?”
Do some of these resonate for you?
You probably notice that these themes and questions are more interconnected than separate. At face value, they sound like heavy-hitter questions and in some ways they are. They’re not the kind of low-key, off-the-cuff questions we stop to ask ourselves or one another in casual day to day conversations. And even if let’s say you do consider asking the questions, not many people follow it up with some meaningful degree of exploration. You’re not alone if you read these questions and feel your stomach turn, your chest tighten.
For most of us, we might get so far as the asking part but then the answering part feels too daunting. Instead we distract ourselves, ignore the questions, and put them off until the next time they inevitably re-appear. Well, I would have to say that based on my assessment of how things have gone this past year, it’s getting harder to keep ignoring these questions. The distractions, as I said before, are less obvious or available to us. So, what do we do?
Let’s Get Real: You Can Handle It
If you feel like the events of this year have gently or (let’s be honest) forcibly pushed you towards grappling with these questions, do you feel prepared to dig in and create some answers? I strongly believe we have an opportunity to stop avoiding and procrastinating on these issues and start getting real with ourselves about the things that matter. I know it doesn’t feel easy. But, the fact that these questions keep emerging from so many of you goes to show that despite not feeling easy, it feels essential.
Self-Assessment Exercise:
Do a mental run-down of how you spend the majority of the time during the day and throughout the week. Better yet, write down a rough schedule and estimate the time you spend in each activity. This first step of noticing what you do and how much time you devote to it can sometimes be enlightening in itself. Notice anything?
Next, ask yourself: Can you connect the things you spend time doing to something that matters to you? The more you can, the more you’re living in line with your values, the qualities or traits that you aspire to adopt in your life. If you’re having trouble identifying connections between what you do and what matters, then you have more room to assess and tweak the choices you make around how you’re spending your time and why.
Lastly, Dig Deeper. Start asking yourself the “why” behind what you currently do. Why, for whom? What for?
How I’ve been challenging myself to adopt the same mentality and do the work.
I’ve been experiencing my own degree of transition, uncertainty, and change. I have geographically relocated, a relationship has ended, and I have made adjustments in terms of how I go about operating in my professional role as a psychologist. All of this has been a result of going through my own self-reflection and answering these same questions you’re asking about life, career, and relationships. I have been getting back in touch with my values, getting real with myself about how my day to day life and actions are reflecting those values (and how they are most certainly not), and adjusting accordingly.
This has required a doubling down on taking risks, being patient and compassionate with myself, asking for help from others, and confronting difficult feelings such as loss, sadness, and fear.
But as more time goes on and I see the fruits of these steps, I am assured that I have taken good enough steps forward.
So, let’s go through this journey together of “uncertain times” as the pandemic and other social and political events continue to impact the world we live in. Don’t let the unknowns and chaos of external things in life distract you away from facing the important internal questions that are right in front of you and more within your control and power to explore.